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Fashionably Dead Hot Damned Series Book 1 edition by Robyn Peterman Literature Fiction eBooks

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Fashionably Dead Hot Damned Series Book 1 edition by Robyn Peterman Literature Fiction eBooks

I absolutely hate it when an author takes a fantastic, page-turning, into-the-middle-of-the-night read, gets to the end, takes a 180-degree twist and screws the story – and the reader – up. All Peterman had to do was stop two pages before she did. But more about that later!

Astrid has just buried her beloved grandmother. Her mother has despised her since birth and she has never known her father. And she needs to quit smoking. Since she can’t bring her grandmother back or determine the identify of her father and since she can’t seem make her mother love her regardless of what she does, she decides that the only thing she can control is the smoking.

However, when Astrid resorts to hypnotism to deal with the smoking issue, the supposed hypnotist forces her into a trance. Thirty-six hours later, Astrid awakens as a vampire. And she also awakens to a houseguest – a guardian Angel named Pam, who looks exactly like Oprah. Shortly thereafter, she acquires another houseguest, a Fairy named Kevin, who looks like Schwarzenegger and who has been brought in to teach Astrid how to fight.

It seems that Astrid, unknown to her, was originally born a demon-human hybrid and has been reborn as a vampire called The Chosen One, the long-prophesied savior of the Vampyre King and the ultimate protector of the Vampyre race. It also appears that she is fated to be the mate of Ethan, Warrior Prince of the North American Dominion and son of the Vampyre King.

From the opening chapter, the book is captivating. It is hilarious and profane one minute and deadly serious the next. Told from Astrid’s first person POV, the thoughts expressed in her internal monologues flow so naturally – profane or not, complete sentence or fragment – that you can’t help but think that this is the exact same way the author thinks in her own head. Peterman even throws in, when the reader least expects it, a bit of paraphrasing on some of the more famous quotes from Twilight. And it is a fantastic take on the we’re-fated-to-be-mated, love and lust at first sight, paranormal vampire story.

Before you can wipe the tears from your eyes that result from the spot-on snark and sarcasm, Peterman flips the mood and plunges the reader into some serious psychological maneuvering. One of the most succinct quotes that I have ever read regarding the acceptance of responsibility and duty occurs in an exchange between Astrid and Ethan:

Astrid: “I’m not ready for all this.”
Ethan: “Ready does not factor into the equation, Angel. Life happens whether we are ready or not – the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.”

So with all this praise for the book, why did I rate it at only 3 stars and why the sharp opening paragraph to this review? The answer is three situations – one irritating, one inexcusable and one disgusting.

First, the irritating problem is that no major character has a last name provided, and few of the supporting characters have last names either. Somewhere towards the end of the book, Astrid’s last name seems to slip in, but I’m really not sure. Fortunately, no two characters have similar first names but the device does not help the reader become attached to the characters or feel that they have more than two-dimensional depth.

Secondly, the inexcusable problem is the presence of multiple editing errors – transpositions, missing words, misplaced words, missing punctuation and misspellings. This situation is more prominent toward the end and could have been avoided by a good proofreader or a team of qualified beta readers.

And then Robyn Peterman ruins it. She ends the book with a cliffhanger. Mind you, this is not a tantalizing hook meant to entice the reader into continuing the series. Oh, no – this is a nasty, depressing, oh-you-did-not-just-do-this cliffhanger! As I stated earlier, all Peterman had to do was stop two pages before she did and the reader would be satisfied, with the hook for the next novel set in the reader’s mind. Granted, what she wrote in those two pages is not as bad as the last page of Karin Slaughter’s final book in her Grant County series, but it is definitely a teeth-grinder.

Because Peterman’s writing is so fresh and enjoyable and because she has built a fine paranormal world, I will continue to read her Hot Damned series. However, since she has established a precedent for blind-siding her readers, I will not purchase additional entries in the series, nor read them, until the series is complete. That way I can read straight through and minimize the damage to both my anger quotient and my blood pressure.


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Fashionably Dead Hot Damned Series Book 1 edition by Robyn Peterman Literature Fiction eBooks Reviews

I saw this title with a fab review from the awesome Darynda Jones on FB, and for this price I just had to buy it.

And I'm so glad I did!!

This book is hilarious, heart breaking, dirty, sexy and an all together fun read that'll have you begging for more and wondering where the hell book two is.

Astrid is a 29 year old woman living life her way. A smart mouthed, smoking, black raspberry chip ice cream loving Prada whore who teaches art to a bunch of lovable, perverted and foul mouthed old people, she loves her life and can't stand the thought of changing. But that choice is taken from her after she finally decides to dump the love of her life- Marlboro Lights- instead of forking out a thousand bucks to her best friend if she loses a bet, and goes to a hypnotist.

Or so she thinks.

Waking up with no memory of how she got in her bed, incredible hearing and scent and a foul mouthed Oprah look alike who just happens to be an angel telling her she's now a vampyre, Astrid kinda sorta loses it. Throw in adorably ugly baby demons, a fairy that could double as Arnold with horrendously hilarious fashion sense and a prophecy she wants nothing to do with, and you have one fanfreakingtastic story.

Did I mention the drop dead gorgeous vampyres??

I L-O-V-E-D this book and can not wait until I can get my greedy little hands on book two. The characters are real, the emotions powerful, the sex hot hot HOT, and the humor is absolutely hilariously borderline crazy. I haven't laughed this much while reading in a very long time.

My only question...

Where is book two?!?!?
Marie's Tempting Reads Review

Another great book by the fun and talented author, Robyn Peterman. I had read this when it was first released but when I was asked if I would like to do a review for Fashionably Dead I knew I had to do a reread to refresh my brain. I forgot how entertaining this was. This book took vampyres to a new and exciting place, making them unique but with certain qualities you would expect from the "normal" vampires. I ADORED it too!
We have such a combination of quirky and outrageous characters. From the Oprah look-a-like Guardian Angel who is strangely named Pam, not Oprah, and a Fairy Couch who looks like just like Mr. Arnold Schwarzenegger. A cute little vampire by the name of Paris Hilton and another vampire (this one absolutely stunning!) by the name of Venus not to mention the not-quite-mortal best friend Gemma. And what a good friend she is too! She offered Astrid her wrist after she was turned. Now THAT is what a true friend is! We also have these loveable, yet slightly ugly demon babies that adore Astrid and help her here and there. I REALLY find it cool that they eat glitter magic that Astrid throws at them. They seem..sweet in a creepy kind of way, yet I find myself adoring these creepy little demons throughout this book.
Astrid is the heroine and one I very much like. She is fun, caring, funny, and has the hots for the Warrior Prince, Ethan. Honestly, I can't blame her for having the hots for Ethan either. He is gorgeous, extremely sexy, charming, amusing and has equal attraction for Astrid. Which makes perfect sense since she is his destined mate AND the Chosen One. Fashionably Dead is an outrageously fun, amusing romp with plenty of romance, comedy, sex so hot it will feel like your on fire and plenty of twists and turns and awesome tricks and adventure around every corner. I am SO DYING for the next book in this new Hot Damned Series! I give this a FIVE OUT OF FIVE STARS! Its a wonderfully written book of awesome-sauce and I can't wait for more. You HAVE to go pick this book up and check out this masterpiece yourself!
I absolutely hate it when an author takes a fantastic, page-turning, into-the-middle-of-the-night read, gets to the end, takes a 180-degree twist and screws the story – and the reader – up. All Peterman had to do was stop two pages before she did. But more about that later!

Astrid has just buried her beloved grandmother. Her mother has despised her since birth and she has never known her father. And she needs to quit smoking. Since she can’t bring her grandmother back or determine the identify of her father and since she can’t seem make her mother love her regardless of what she does, she decides that the only thing she can control is the smoking.

However, when Astrid resorts to hypnotism to deal with the smoking issue, the supposed hypnotist forces her into a trance. Thirty-six hours later, Astrid awakens as a vampire. And she also awakens to a houseguest – a guardian Angel named Pam, who looks exactly like Oprah. Shortly thereafter, she acquires another houseguest, a Fairy named Kevin, who looks like Schwarzenegger and who has been brought in to teach Astrid how to fight.

It seems that Astrid, unknown to her, was originally born a demon-human hybrid and has been reborn as a vampire called The Chosen One, the long-prophesied savior of the Vampyre King and the ultimate protector of the Vampyre race. It also appears that she is fated to be the mate of Ethan, Warrior Prince of the North American Dominion and son of the Vampyre King.

From the opening chapter, the book is captivating. It is hilarious and profane one minute and deadly serious the next. Told from Astrid’s first person POV, the thoughts expressed in her internal monologues flow so naturally – profane or not, complete sentence or fragment – that you can’t help but think that this is the exact same way the author thinks in her own head. Peterman even throws in, when the reader least expects it, a bit of paraphrasing on some of the more famous quotes from Twilight. And it is a fantastic take on the we’re-fated-to-be-mated, love and lust at first sight, paranormal vampire story.

Before you can wipe the tears from your eyes that result from the spot-on snark and sarcasm, Peterman flips the mood and plunges the reader into some serious psychological maneuvering. One of the most succinct quotes that I have ever read regarding the acceptance of responsibility and duty occurs in an exchange between Astrid and Ethan

Astrid “I’m not ready for all this.”
Ethan “Ready does not factor into the equation, Angel. Life happens whether we are ready or not – the only choice or control we have is whether or not we will rise to meet its challenges.”

So with all this praise for the book, why did I rate it at only 3 stars and why the sharp opening paragraph to this review? The answer is three situations – one irritating, one inexcusable and one disgusting.

First, the irritating problem is that no major character has a last name provided, and few of the supporting characters have last names either. Somewhere towards the end of the book, Astrid’s last name seems to slip in, but I’m really not sure. Fortunately, no two characters have similar first names but the device does not help the reader become attached to the characters or feel that they have more than two-dimensional depth.

Secondly, the inexcusable problem is the presence of multiple editing errors – transpositions, missing words, misplaced words, missing punctuation and misspellings. This situation is more prominent toward the end and could have been avoided by a good proofreader or a team of qualified beta readers.

And then Robyn Peterman ruins it. She ends the book with a cliffhanger. Mind you, this is not a tantalizing hook meant to entice the reader into continuing the series. Oh, no – this is a nasty, depressing, oh-you-did-not-just-do-this cliffhanger! As I stated earlier, all Peterman had to do was stop two pages before she did and the reader would be satisfied, with the hook for the next novel set in the reader’s mind. Granted, what she wrote in those two pages is not as bad as the last page of Karin Slaughter’s final book in her Grant County series, but it is definitely a teeth-grinder.

Because Peterman’s writing is so fresh and enjoyable and because she has built a fine paranormal world, I will continue to read her Hot Damned series. However, since she has established a precedent for blind-siding her readers, I will not purchase additional entries in the series, nor read them, until the series is complete. That way I can read straight through and minimize the damage to both my anger quotient and my blood pressure.